NARCUSGFX

Highlight the following to see the Diva spoilers for WWE Superstars and Friday Night SmackDown!

WWE Superstars
Rosa & Beth def. Nikki & Brie

Friday Night SmackDown!
Michelle & Layla def. Melina & Eve

Highlight the following text to read the spoilers for this Friday Night SmackDown!;

- Gail Kim & Melina defeated Michelle McCool & Alicia Fox when Melina hit Michelle with her version of the Code Red.
-Cryme Tyme broke up a Layla and Eve were involved in a backstage cat fight

In the 2009 Diva Draft, four WWE Divas found new homes and four returned to their 'stomping grounds'. The Bella Twins and the WWE Divas Champion Maryse were sent to RAW, Natalya was sent to the land of extreme and finally Alicia Fox, Layla, Candice and WWE Women's Champion Melina were sent packing to the blue brand. In a change to Marcella's Royal Confessions, get ready for a very colourful post as the first Confessions Of The Royal Valentine Twins debuts! The pair of us will now give our thoughts on every Diva Draft pick of 2009! Marc's thoughts will be in green and Marcella's in orange!

Natalya To ECW; How obvious was this? Correct me if I'm wrong but since her wubber has debuted on ECW, Nattie hasn't been on SmackDown!, not once, so she was acting as an ECW Vixxen, but being a SmackDown! Diva. Since dodo brain DH Smith has been drafted to ECW, expect the debut of the Hart Foundation...boring! Oh Nattie to ECW would have been exciting since she fits that model of the extreme vixxen, however, like Marc said, she's been there. WHAT TYPE OF MOVE IS THIS? Stupid. Especially, there is no face divas, but Tiffany, for her to feud with. I guess Tiff can do a rookie diva thingy. And DH SMITH makes me barf..I love the concept of the New Hart Foundation... I just hate SMITH.

Candice To SmackDown!; Everyone thought Candi was heading to SmackDown! and everyone was right. Let's hope she can restart her career here and not get injured everyday. Candice Michelle is way too hott for Cable TV. ;) ! She deserves a fresh start and she'll get one being an important part of the Smackdown roster. Hopefully, she smacks fellow diva searcher, Michelle McCool, just for fun!

WWE Divas Champion Maryse To RAW; There isn't much competition on RAW for Maryse. It'd be nice to see Maryse and Beth feud but I think no matter who she feuds with on RAW that it will grow stale and boring quickly. Maryse has a chance to feud with Beth and Mickie, which won't be too bad. However, Raw's division is looking sorta weak. The only "true" wrestlers are Beth, Jillian, and Mickie. The Bellas and Kelly are just starting out, along with Maryse. How technical can you get? I just hope Jillian breaks into Maryse and smacks some french fries out of her! :P

Layla To SmackDown!; YAYA! I'm glad Layla has returned to SmackDown! instead of floating around being misused on RAW, BUT what does this mean for her? I think if used correctly, that soon Layla will be a serious title contender; I'd love to see her as Women's Champ! Layla needs this move. All she did on Raw was follow Regal around and take his UGLY coat. Thank goodness. She better be used in matches and kick the holy hell out of some people. Remember Layla, I want you to FUCKING RIP someone's HEAD OFF!

Alicia Fox To SmackDown!; I wasn't too bothered about this pick, but I'm glad Alicia has been split from DJ Gabriel and can finally showcase her skills against the likes of Layla, Gail, Melina and Michelle. Alicia Fox is away from her dancing king! :( I think Alicia would have done good to stay in ECW so she could learn from Katie Lea and Natalya. However, this could work out well. I just hope she doesn't get shoved into Edge's arms. Then I will be pissed and snap some necks!

The Bella Twins To RAW; When Nikki was drafted to SmackDown!, I was dancing - the twins were finally split up - however, BRIE was later thrown over to RAW. Could this be because they are gonna split again? I'm not really bothered as both of them going to RAW has irked me as Jillian will just JOB to them 90 times a month. Oh don't get me start on BOTH Bellas being drafted. I was raging like no other. The draft could have added dimensions to their one dimensional characters ^_^ but no, we will get this sibling rivarly all day baby all day. I will be a very ANGRY ROYAL! You know what WWE Universe, I draft YOUS to the bin! HOLLERING!!

WWE Women's Champion Melina To SmackDown!; I was really pleased when Mel was drafted back to SmackDown!, hopefully now she's there she will freshen up her character as her face run has been boring from the start. Now John Morrison's back on SmackDown!, maybe the two will reunite and change back to the obnoxious A-Listers we loved! Melina to Smackdown made me happy. Then when John Morrison was drafted to Smackdown, I was really happy. You know what would have made me estatic, I don't know... maybe... DRAFTING JILLIAN HALL TO SMACKDOWN! Anyways, Melina will now have a good chance to showcase her craft with other divas and spice up Friday Nights. However, TURN HER HEEL AND PUT HER WITH HER MOMO! I will be such a forgiving ROYAL that I will put my BAG away.... for two minutes ONLY!

So first off we see Melina, Kelly and Mickie walking backstage. RAW goes to an ad break.

As it returns we see Natalya, Maryse and Michelle in the ring. The RAW Divas then come out. Maryse and Michelle start arguing, Natalya tries to cool them down but the RAW Divas take them out. Mickie and Michelle get into the ring and start the match. The two put on an AWESOME fight! The match ends when Mickie flies from the top rope and gets a big boot in the face from McCool.

DIVA DRAFT PICK #1
Women's Champ Melina is drafted over to SmackDown!

Jeff Hardy runs in and attacks RAW's newest Superstar Matt Hardy, screwing his own brand out of a draft pick. The two fly away like idiotholes as a draft pick for RAW pops up.

DIVA DRAFT PICK #2
Divas Champ Maryse is drafted over to RAW

Maryse comes out and looks a bit pissed off to start with, but she soon smirks and acts her usual bitchy self, YAY!

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So dudes that is the end of the WWE Diva Draft 2009! HOWEVER, don't forget to check back here on Wednesday as we will be covering the supplemental Diva Draft!

The Divas of the WWE wait in anticipation for the upcoming WWE Draft which will take place tomorow night and all the fans and Diva fans are waiting to see if their favourite Superstars or Divas will be swapped around! So, today in this post, I will post my last nine predictions and draft picks I would like to see.

Draft Pick Two; Candice To SmackDown!
Everyone thinks its going to happen, even The Fink - Candice Michelle is going to SmackDown! Like quite a lot of the Divas at the moment in the WWE, Candice's character needs refreshed and she needs to be pushed back into regular action, instead of injuring herself all the time.

Draft Pick Three; Brie Or Nikki To RAW
The Bella Twins made up on SmackDown! and yes, WTF is that about? Well, maybe Nikki is being sincere or maybe she is pulling the wool over her sisters eyes OR it could be that WWE want us to wub the twins again so they can just break them up. I think one of the twins may go to RAW so that the twins can get an equal chance at being WWE Divas, instead of being known as 'one of the twins'.

Draft Pick Four; Jillian Hall To SmackDown!
The pop princess of the WWE, Jillian Hall has served her time on RAW I believe. She started out being as impressive as she was on SmackDown!, but ever since November of 2007, Jillian has NEVER won a singles match. The talented Diva jobs to everyone and is made out to be weak against opponents like Kelly Kelly; it's sad as Jillian is one of the most skilled women in the company. I think it's time Jillian had a push and SmackDown! is just the place for her to have that push. I think if Jillian goes to SmackDown!, a face turn could be the next best thing to happen to her.

Draft Pick Five; Rosa Mendes To ECW
If the Santina / Beth angle had finished by now, I would love to see Rosa Mendes along with Santino Marella drafted over to the land of extreme. I think Rosa could have some great matches with the current ECW Vixxens and make a great tag team partner for Katie Lea!

Draft Pick Six; Beth Phoenix To SmackDown!
Since Beth re-debuted on RAW, I always thought she would suit SmackDown! so much more. Why? I don't know, but I'd much rather see The Glamazon strut her stuff on the blue brand.

Draft Pick Seven; Melina To SmackDown!
In my first Diva Draft post, I said how I thought Maryse would go to RAW and take her title with her, if this happens then no doubt that Melina will head back to SmackDown! and take her Women's title with her. I really hope this happens, it'd be nice to see the SmackDown! Divas being taken more seriously with the Women's title on that brand. I think that if she moves to the blue brand, it's best if she is to return to being a bitchy heel and feud with Gail Kim.

Draft Pick Eight; Natalya To ECW
The only third generation Diva, Natalya, is currently a SmackDown! Diva, but rarely features on the show. I think that in the supplemental draft she will be shipped over to the show she's always on - ECW.

Draft Pick Nine; Eve Torres To ECW
This is just a random pick. I think now that Tiffany is General Manager of ECW, that more Divas will find a place on the brand, therefore be somewhat like a training ground for Divas-In-Training, like Eve.

Draft Pick Ten; Vickie Guerrero To SmackDown!
Last Monday Vickie Guerrero announced she was the new RAW General Manager, however, I think her luck, like always, will run out faster than she hoped. I think the draft will ship her back over to the blue brand and we will see her more pissy than ever.

Well that rounds up my Diva Draft predictions and the switches I would like to see. I think the likeliness of Divas being drafted tonight on RAW is like zero to none. I hope that the Divas get switched alot this year as it's time to see some new feuds and partnerships. Can I get a HOLLER? What's your thoughts on the draft?! Tell us in the cbox if you wish! :)

On the 8th of February I placed a poll on the WWE Divas Gallery page ("If WWE wasn't PG, which WWE Diva would have been WWE's Playboy Covergirl for 2009?") and I decided it was about time to close the poll as WrestleMania is just around the corner! We had a total of sixty-four votes and want to thank everyone who voted! Check out the results table below to see who you thought would grace this years Playboy!



Maryse scooped up the most amount of votes, followed by RAW Divas Kelly Kelly and Melina. To view the breakdown of the pie chart, then click here!

I haven't uploaded media in a while so here's some new stuff. I basically stuck with the same layout with all of these signatures and I loved how they all turned out, check them out!!

NEW! [WWE Divas Gallery]
Melina; 2 Signatures
Mickie; 4 Signatures
Natalya; 3 Signatures
Nikki; 1 Signature
Rosa; 1 Signature

NEW! [TNA Knockouts Gallery]
Jacqueline; 1 Signature
Sojo Bolt; 2 Signatures

Spice up your day with taking a peek at four new WWE Diva photoshoots. The irkful yet wuby psycho stalker Rosa Mendes kicks off her WWE.com Diva Profile by adding a bunch of new studio shots! She can be seen galavanting around in four different outfits; the newest freaky fan turned Diva looks smoking HOT in all four! Woo, Nikki Bella gets some more studio time. You should definately check the shoot out, it's at the top of the Bella shoots in my opinion. The WWE Women's Champion "Master" Melina can be seen being a weirdo in a really interesting photoshoot. Finally Natalya accompanies her real life boyfriend, Tyson Kidd, in a really cool photoshoot. Despite the hippo face of Kidd and the scrabby extensions in Natalya's hair, the pair pull off what is an awesome photoshoot!

To kick off February, WWE has released two photoshoots; one of Candice and one of The Bella Twins. I don't really like Nikki and Brie's "Superbowl" photoshoot. Nikki looks hot but Brie and the outfits look stupid. However, Candice Michelle's new photoshoot "On The Rocks" is pretty awesome! It's different to most shoots as shock HORROR Candice is COVERED UP!

WWE.com also stated that Candice will be taking on Beth Phoenix tonight on RAW. Could this be the night our lovely Candycoated vixxen turns heel? If it is, here's how I see it happening. Rosa Mendes and Santino accompany Beth to the ring. Candice comes down and the match begins. I'd say Beth would win by DQ because Melina comes down and beats on Beth. Rosa thumps Melina CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT! Candice helps Melina away from Beth and Rosa before glancing over to the heels and taking Melina out. BAM! Candice aligns herself with The Glamazon, Rosa WEIRDY Mendes and Santino Marella.

Welcome loyal readers to NARCUSGFX's first 'Photoshoot Of The Month'! Now, what a pity; the TNA Knockouts didn't exactly get much exposure through photoshoots this past month but as usual WWE delivered with their excessive amounts of Diva shoots. Tiffany, Maryse, Katie Lea and Jillian impressed me the most this month with their photoshoots! But it was the new WWE Women's Champ, Melina, who's photoshoots have been a big let down. So check out below who myself and Marcella have voted as January's Photoshoot Of The Month;;

5th; Maryse - Vroom Vroom [ view ]
4th; Eve - Vroom Vroom [ view ]
3rd; Tiffany - Happy Blue Year [ view ]
2nd; Katie Lea - Vroom Vroom [ view ]

January's Photoshoot Of The Month
Jillian - All That
[ Click the pictures below to view ]

To Whom It May Concern,

A BIG ROYAL hello to the loyal readers! It's the third installment of "THE CONFESSIONS OF A ROYAL BIATCH!" Marc and I are back in full force and we have some things to get off of our chests!

So today, I feel like calling out three groups of people! Yeah, that's right! The BITCH is BACK! And this time there is NO group hug and no hollering around! WWE AND TNA, really? Again? STILL? You are still being bad! I didn't think I had to call you out again! I thought I scared you the last time with my huge FAT rant that brought even my mom to tears, and she doesn't cry EASILY!And let's welcome a new group to the trial of getting on a Royal BAD SIDE! Main Event Mafia!

So let's bring our tale of destruction with those weirdos!So really, Main Event Mafia, who really doesn't know what a mafia is, makes a jab at WWE. -.- Okay really, nice job! They said one of the ugly referees was a WWE Champion. This makes no sense as most of them in Main Event Tranny were Main Event Champions in WWE. You sound dumb! Seriously find your brains! So those weirdys were in control of iMPACT. They made a wubby match with Kongtourage vs ODB. Yes, it was wonderful. But WHERE WAS THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE or "SARAH PALIN"? You people definitely should never try your hand at being vocal or run anything! o.O It was horrendous. I nearly BARF all of my breakfast. And Booker T talking about Raisha Saeed! At least, Raisha Saeed looks like a normal person. He HAS SOOO MANY SPOTS ON HIS FACE. You know he's been doing drugs, it affects your skin! Holler!!But the WWE jab wasn't their fault. No no no!

TNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! You booked that monkey crap. That deformed MONKEY CRAP! You know the voices that Randy Orton hears should council him to punt yous in the nose! You only had Kongtourage and ODB basically on. Lauren and Sharmell don't count as they just wave on and off interviewing weirdos. But really? Way to go with storylines! So interesting! NOT!! I really hope to throw my US Government textbooks at yous!

Let's get off of these mongrels since they will never learn how to truly entertain even if Santa Claus gave them that as a gift!

Now onto WWE. Really? Seriously WWE? No divas on Smackdown. Bad move! You should just shove them into a backstage promo for a fight like YEYY!! Something to add some flavor to Smackdown. I will punt you instead of that Orton child.

Urgh these idiotboxes make me sooo angry! So let me GET OFF of smashing them, because I will be very angry soon!!

So Beth and Melina had a good match up at Royal Rumble. It was wubby. :) I'm happy to be wrong that Melina actually won the title. I didn't expect that! WWE gets half a point. I still win though as I'm ROYAL!

Now onto RAW OR as I always Beth/Melina Central! Beth && Jillian picked up a win on Kelly Kelly && Melina. Oh my god, Jillian has won a match! Rosa Mendes was irkful. Why is she trying so hard to be a stalking psycho fan? -.- STOP IT! Be normal and natural. Goodness! However, that idiot features made a save by being a complete spaz case in the backstage area with Santino and Bethy. But, really, I will make a stand and smack all the divas once I get there. Believe me I will!

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!The BITCH IS BACK! Stephanie McMahon has been slapping people right and left. Well, just Randy Orton. Did I mention HOW MUCH I wub Stephie? She's a Royal in training. ;)By the way, IED is retarded disease to say Orton has...why would he want to be mental? He better just be a complete psycho... and tell people he hears voices and they want him to smack people around. NOW THAT WILL BE WUBBY. Thank goodness Stephie is a creepy evil lady bitch!

Now did I ever mention how Katie Lea is the Queen of ECW? Well she is! Read her Blogs! Her blogs are almost as great as the Confessions! Not quite to my level of genius yet! ;) Hehe.

Talking about exchanges, WWE Universe held a Live Blog on Royal Rumble with Melina, Katie Lea, and Natalya. Definitely something Diva fans should read! Katie Lea and Nattie exchange blows to each other. And Melina talks about John Morrison in every other sentence. They sooo got back together. Haha, good for them. The Royals were devastated when they broke up because of that CUNT, Boretista! Are we the only ones who are pleased that he's on a sabbatical due to an injury. Hey, it's not like we wished injuries on people even on that thing. But he needs a break off of MY TV before I physically chisel that ugly out of him. HOLLERINGGG!!

So there's this news alert on TNA Mobile. A NEW INVESTOR! And it's a lady! Who the hell is it? Watch it be "Sarah Palin" Daffney since she took some money off of the Beautiful People a while ago! They did give money to "Sarah Palin". Or it could be some other lady. Oh well, hopefully, it's the "Governor"!

Did you people see Candice vs Melina in the houseshow? Candilicious looked a BIT CHUBBY?! Oh dear!

Question of the day, why does Kelly Kelly get more cheers than the Women's Champion, Melina? Is it because Kelly Kelly likes to flash?

But whatever, I recently received Voices WWE Volume 9 CD. It's quite lovely. Maryse's song, Pourquoi, is quite wubby, BUT dirty. HOLLA, which is Kelly Kelly's song, is another keeper. I love how Kelly Kelly's theme song keeps getting remixed and appears on the CDs. Haha.I actually quite wub Priceless, Voices, and Get on your Knees. Eve's theme ( She Looks Good) is very scary. The other night I was blaring The Great Khali's ( The Land of Five Rivers) and Kozlov's ( Pain) because they are royally funny. Awesome CD. Go find these wonderful songs and blare them to irk others! ;)

Well, I don't know what else to say. So this will conclude this addition to the Confessions of a Royal Biatch! Remember you can look but NEVER EVER touch the ROYALS! We are simply the best! And if you don't agree with us, then you suck!

HOLLLERINGGGGG

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine, The One and Only Italian Biatch
(aka Marcella)
I'm worth more than you ever know!Cos all you know is what is you see! Cos you all are blind to who WE are. Cos what you see is a mystery. Cos WE ARE

I'm back and there's been lots of stuff happened since I've been gone. A new Women's champ, loads of photoshoots and much more.




We got a double helping of Tiffany in her photoshoot named "Bright White". The third generation biatch, Natalya, looks smokin' in "Beauty & The Best". "Save A Dance" for Alicia Fox in her stunning new shoot. Hmmm, am I the only one who DOESN'T like this Melina shoot? I mean really, HOORAH for her being champ but ewww. This photoshoot isn't her best.

So because I'm abandoning all of you lovely people tomorow and leaving you with my evil co-biatch, Marcella, I decided to cover you in rose petals and perfume share with you a delicious helping of forum signatures!

NEW! [WWE Divas Gallery]
Alicia; 1 Signature
Maryse; 1 Signature
Melina; 2 Signatures
Mickie; 1 Signature
Natalya; 2 Signatures

NEW! [TNA Knockouts Gallery]
Christy; 1 Signature

NEW! [Other Vixxens Gallery]
Ashley; 3 Signatures
Lita; 2 Signatures

Welcome to the Wonderful World of the Royals, where you get to finally pick at the brains of the hottest, greatest, smartest, and most talented duo. We will grace you all with our predictions of the Royal Rumble,which has no relations with us, despite it BITING off our name. It's not ROYAL, oh no not with those SCRAY matches. It might have been better if there were matches with people who weren't idiotholes. But WHATEVER! Marc's let start the tradegy. EWWWIES this PPV looks soooo BORING! I don't wanna do these faggy predictions, but 'Cella has me at gunpoint so oopsie, here we are. Hush Narcus! Let's predict what gruesome things will happen in the Women's Title Match, even though I said it in my Confessions. Okay then SCRAYFACE, let's do this shit. Well, Mel will win by DQ tonight as Rosa is a psycho hoes beast. YAYA! As much as I wub Melina, the crowd just aren't behind her now she's a face, and Beth has impressed me as of late and stopped being a boring old lady, so hopeully Beth retains, turns face and BAM Melina [heel], Natalya or another Diva comes along and snatches the title. That's because she's the feather lady. She needs to yell bitch and be angry for people to wub her muchly. Oh Marc, I will snatch the title, as I'm the best! YAYA! UAUA! Sounds like a plan, do it, do it, SMACK HER, hit her, DO SOMETHING! Okies onto the WWE title match. Okay REALLY? Jeff Hardy is still champ? I thought WWE wanted to add prestige to theit title belts, not idiocy. WWE can't see that anyone who understands wrestling is LMFAOing at them. Jeff Hardy? Oh puh-lease. He looks like a dumb tranny. Oh Marc, Marc Marc. You know everyone and their mother loves this Ronald McDonald in the Insane Clow Posse wannabe. Okay really?! That's enough. dThis is SICKENING. He is too strange for me, Miss Valentine. Move over Maryse, I'm the real sexiest of the sexy! Back to Jeffy, he will so lose. Edge has Christian Cage in his back pocket. And that old man has been doing Edge's bidding. Looks like its Edge & Christian vs Hardy Boyz part 90083785. OH how freakin' enjoyable! I love Christian Cage like woahh, he's awesome, but really. I cannot be arsed with these lengthy gay feuds which amount to the same as Maria's point of existance in the WWE....NOTHING! OH I am angry now so my apologies if this post makes no sense. :@!! Okay Marc, can WE talk about the deformed MONKEYS? OH lordy, ECW title match it is. Jack SWAGGER, THE deformed monkey will so retain, unless WWE want to LMFAO at him and have him lose it that quickly. Jack Swagger is a HIDEOUS SHE BEAST! He will retain so I can pluck my eyeballs out with mountains. :). Okay really, it's time for the GREATEST thing ever. John Cena. He will retain his championship as he is a sexy beast. JBL is fat. HBK is bald and religious. I don't care what all these people do, except that Cena retains as he is the male sexiest of the sexy verison to moi! Holler!! I wanna see HBK try to get involved and mess the whole 'operation' up. THAT will make me chuckle. So JBL spanks him for being a naughty boy -.- I don't like the storyline really, but meh. CENA TO WIN! WOOO!! NOW to the main event [I think O_O] the Royal Rumble match! Look out for Triple H and the new Intercontinental Champion CM Punk, who might snatch the win...OR Randy Orton. This Legacy leader nearly cried a river when he slapped, knocked over and then proceeded to KICKED Mr McMahon in the head, ON PURPOSE. I mean really. He's gotta win this so he gets FIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD or something! Orton will win because he has two sexy boys [ Teddy & Cody ] helping him out . I really don't care what Orton does right now. He think he is the Undertaker with all his body tattoos. That's just tacky, unlike the Beautiful People's tattoos! Whatever. But really, Marc would have won the Royal Rumble. Pssht, none of these little boys have as much talent as my boobula partner! AWWH thanks pops!! You're welcome, mamz. There you have it-- Our royal predictions. It's sad that we won't be there to entertain you all, despite the WWE really does need us. You will have to wait until we are ready. Now we are off to do things that really matter such as styling our HAIR! OH yaya, later taters!

To Whom It May Concern,

I don't know if it's just me, but really, why is there soo MANY ugly people in this world?! Like Velvet Sky says, we need to poke our eyeballs out!

But that's a discussion for another day!Unlike, last week, I'm not calling out whole companies telling them they suck like prostitutes. No, I'm in a better mood, thanks in part to Chinese New Year and the Royal Rumble. YAYA!Last night, I went to see Chinese New Year Dance/Singing Show at Radio City Music Hall. And let me tell you all, they had a dance just for me. The Dance of the Phoenix. That's right they had a dance just for this Italian Biatch. Anyways, these dancers were such wubbers, they were flipping, tumbling, and fighting with swords. They were true entertainers. I can even go as far as to think they would make great wrestlers. They took the fight to each other.

However, this Friday on Smackdown, Maria "took the fight" to Michelle McCool. Okay really? That wasn't cute. Now I'm not gonna join the trend of bashing Maria just for her horrible attempt at "retribution". That SCARY fish never COULD wrestle. She's always horrible. It's rather scary, how she STILL isn't good. I think WWE needs an interviewer and look at this, Maria needs a job she's good at. Perfect Match. Go interview. :)

Now,The Royals want to send our sympathies to Maria Kanellis. We feel RATHER horrible and terrible for her. She's really bad. Maria is what Jillian calls " TALENTLESS BITTCHES". We, Royals, have never had the chance to know how it feels to be talentless or to be a hooker. So we hope to never catch that disease. Marc, is that contagious like HEADLICE? Eww..

Well, whatever. On to more news, Kelly Kelly's sexual harassment. That's just bullshit. You have to be downright stupid to think that they are depushing her for not being in Playboy. Everyone has to lose a match, sometime. Raw is Melina and Beth central right now. Okay. And plus, if Mickie and Candice weren't stuck in the backstage, then one of them would have to lose.

Urgh. So there's rumors that Natalya is going to Raw and Kelly Kelly to Smackdown. Okay, SERIOUSLY? How gay would that be! They just had Kelly Kelly switch over from ECW because she didn't know what a contract was. o.O Keep her on Raw. Send Candice Michelle or Mickie James to Smackdown. They need something new for them. And by the way, send them to Smackdown as a HEEL. In my perfect opinion, send the Candilicious Go Daddy Queen, Candice Michelle to Smackdown heel. No doubt whatsoever, Gail Kim will come back soon and she will be face. So this would totally help out the heel department of Smackdown. But whatever!

Now to things that make us Royals so very Royalish! The Beautiful People attacking "Sarah Palin". Now Marc, do I get a Beauty? WOOOOO BEAUTY!! Excellent! Wonderful! A+! Oh everyone should look at them and STUDY them. STUDY THEM!!

Now onto Katie Lea Burchill as she is my favorite English..Scratch that. Second favorite. Marc is my favorite!! Her acting this past ECW was great. She should teach that Boogeysnot a lesson in classy wrestling!

Blah blah is all I have to say about Beth/Melina central. I can't wait for their match tonight at Royal Rumble. I want Melina as champ. BUT, I don't think tonight is her night. I want Rosa Mendes to interfere in the match and make Beth get DQ'ed. Eventually, I think the best way to get this whole storyline through is to have Beth become face. She's bound to get angry at Santino and Rosa. They are soo plotting against her. I say, have Melina be conspiring with them. Turn Melina back heel! And there you go. Mel doesn't have a gimmick as a face. She's better as a heel. Honestly, feathers don't equal a gimmick.

WHATEVER. It's now time to leave you all. Yes I know. It's sad since I didn't call anyone out this week. Wait, maybe, I should do something different this week. That's right, baby. A GROUP HUG!

This week, a big royal group hug goes to KONGTOURAGE! Raisha Saeed, Sojo Bolt, Rhaka Khan, and Awesome Kong are the wubbiest. Yes they are better than most of you. Just embrace it! ;)

HOLLERING!

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine, The One and Only Italian Biatch
(aka Marcella)
Yeah I'm too cool To know you Don't take it personal Don't get emotional

So, while myself and Marcella have been off floating around like idiotholes, there has been EIGHT photoshoots that we haven't posted for you, so if you look at the marquee above, there are snippits of all eight. We were graced with 2 Michelle McCool photoshoots, which really should of stayed on the photographers camera, because she looks utterly ridiculous in both. Next we have 2 Alicia Fox photoshoots which are amazing. The first shoot is part of the New Year celebration, in which she borrowed Maryse's dress for [CLICKY]. I don't like her top in the second shoot, but it's a good shoot. Next we have more New Years shoots from Jillian, Melina and Maria. Jillian and Melina look awesome as usual, but the resident dodo brain of WWE doesn't look too great. A scray dress and an oversized flower twirled into an out of control dead dog isn't too appealing. And finall we have a really TWATTY photoshoot from TNA Knockout, SoCal Val!

Celebrate the New Years 2/3 days early as the dodo brains at WWE.com posted some brand spanking [ and some old ] photos of some of the WWE Divas in lovely [ and some scrabby ] gowns! The shoot includes unreleased photos of Melina, Jillian, Eve, Alicia Fox, The Bella Twins, Maryse, Maria and Tiffany and some previously seen photos of Kelly, Mickie and Candice. Jillian, Maryse and Melina all look the best out of the Divas shown in the photoshoot. To view the New Years shoot, click on either two snippit photos above to be redirected!