NARCUSGFX

Dear Whom it May Concern,

What a Royally busy weekend I had. I had homework up the creek and a teaching exam. So, last week's Confessions had to go byebye. But of course, it wasn't a permanent byebye. I will NEVER quit the Confessions of A Royal Biatch! But, forgive me for any time I am late. I do have things I have to do...and people to talk to.

Anyways, let's get down to business! REALLY, Ashley Massaro is STILLLLLLL blogging her hearts out. Please refrain from typing Ashley! It hurts the Royals' eyes. We have LOST all respect for you. ^_^ And we have NO respect for anyone who will continue to irk the Dirty Diva. If you really want a hobby, then go read a book about aliens or build a damn. DO SOMETHING USEFUL THEN CONTRIBUTE TO ASHLEY!

The Vicious Vixxen Victoria is practicing MMA. Well, I think she will do well at that. She will fuck someone up well. ^_^ Good luck tater!! ;]]

Amy "Lita" Dumas says she will come back just to ruin someone's day. Well, Lita, we have a list of people whom day's need to be ruined. I think it's high time that you RUIN them ... just about.... NOW!!

Madison Rayne is supposed to be the "NEW" Beautiful People member. She's not beautiful. She looks like a horse's ass! Hopefully, she's just an associate. Or someone will have to help my sad eyeballs.

Amy Weber's preggers! Congrats go out for her!

Hmm...Raw's diva match last week was rather interesting. It wasn't a great week for women's wrestling. Mel retained the title against Beth Phoenix. That my friends is good. Melina deserves that title for at least after Wrestlemania. I just hope that Beth doesn't get it again. I believe other people on the roster deserve a chance...like JILLIAN. But the faces came out to save the day. Good use of those faces. Rosa Mendes looked a bit awkward..but what can you expect.

ECW was boring again. Katie Lea was managing her brother against the Boogeyman. I love Katie Lea's acting. But, um, can she do more? The same goes out for Natalya. Let's do something with the divas on ECW!


TNA was decent with the interview of Sojourner Bolt. She's arrogant and ghetto. She told Raisha Saeed that ONLY HER MOMMA tells her what to do, and she ain't her momma. Well, I hope Saeed has some Syrian Sand ready to fix that BIG PROBLEM! So the Beautiful People lost to Roxxi and Taylor. Yeah in the big scheme of things, it's a good idea. BUTTTTT!!! I dislike those two idiotboxes. Roxxi irks me to no end. ^_^ WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO TO HERSELF? Taylor is a whiny lady. The Governor makes the team! UM, can she have another name? kthxbye.

Smackdown is ROYAL! The Bella Twins with Morrison and Miz doesn't make me go YAYA. Then again them with the Colons' doesn't either. How about let's STOP! It looks like Nikki will be going with MOMO and Miz and turning heel. And Brie with the Colons' and staying face. Problem is, no one will know who is who, unless someone makes a drastic change. And Brie is the stronger wrestler than Nikki. Oh boy! Moving on to Eve & Maria vs Maryse & Michelle McCool. I'm very proud of Eve. She's coming along very well. Maria was okay... she's NOT getting better, but at least she didn't mess up big time. Maryse's return to the ring was the best. I love how Michy and Mary weren't friendly, but yet worked together. Good, I wonder when Michy is gonna get her rematch.

So Gail's return promo was leaked by WWE. OOPSY! It sucked major eggs! I'm sorry. It was beyond horrible. I think I need to make a call to Serpentina Venomina Saltan aka Serpie!!

Lacey Von Erich is supposed to be on Playboy. o.O Run and hide everyone. She's a "SCRAY" lady. I know that's old news, but it's FRIGHTENING!

By the way, everyone look at for Jenny Cash. She's going to be a good one in time. CHA-CHING!

Well, last Confessions, I said I will discuss the state of the divas. And that's just what I will do! But before that I will warn you all, these are MY OPINIONS. My opinion is mine. Everyone's opinion is valid. Just mine are a bit ROYAL ;]!

Well, let's get this party started!

Raw Heels:

Beth Phoenix
Miss Beth Phoenix has been rather entertaining with Santino Marella. He seems to be her saving grace. We have finally found out that she can be funny and entertaining. However, I hate to say this, Santino is taking too much away from Beth. She needs to go back to being the dominant biatch. I think she needs a change. Santino should turn on the Glamazon and she turns face. Santino should be having an affair with ROSA MENDES! And plus, Beth should be out of the main stage of the women's division. Everything revolves around Beth and Melina. What about the other divas?!

Rosa Mendes
Rosa needs to have an aim with her being the number one fan of Beth. She needs to have a devious reason. Like I said, she needs to be trying to seduce Santino. Why? That's a huge boost for her career. She would be a legit heel. Right now, she's just a weirdo.

Jillian Hall
PUSH HER! Give her a title shot and program. If you are keeping Melina face, then have her fight Jillian. They have great matches... they are friends. JUST DO IT!

Layla London
Layla needs to stop managing. She should be involved with the divas. Sure, she can manage Regal on the side. But, she's wasting away by not having so much contact with the ladies. Think of this, new matches..new rivalries... =O!

Raw Faces;

Melina Perez
Melina is a scary face. She has this weird smile. Okay, I think she should turn back heel. But, that won't seem to happen for another several months. SO, we will just have to adjust and hope for the best. I say, just let her be a bit bitchy, so she can be normal.. hey try what Trish did. She could be full of herself even though she was face. And well, you can always have her be the mastermind of letting Rosa Mendes stalk the Glamzon and Santino. But that's pushing it, I know..

Candice Michelle
Candice needs something new. She needs to be moved to Smackdown and turned heel. She has nothing to do on Raw anymore. They aren't using her properly... so either use her or move her! And well, she needs something to spice up her character...anything!

Mickie James
Mickie is going through the same problems as Candice Michelle. She needs something to get her back on track. She's the most popular diva, and yet she's underused. She needs to shine someone up. You can have her associate with CM Punk as Layla manages Regal. And she can start a program with Layla. They had a match a while ago. HEY! Let's do something with this!They both would do well in something like this!

Kelly Kelly
Just keep doing what you are doing with her! She's improving and getting exposure. So there's nothing really more to say.

ECW Heels;

Katie Lea & Natalya Neidhart
Oh yes, Katie and Natalya are going to have the same exact thing said. Why don't we actually have them wrestle? That's why they are on ECW for some tv time! Let's have them wrestle and manage their wonderful people. They have Tiffany and Alicia to feud with...so Let's get to getting Tiffany and Alicia ready for the big time!

ECW; Faces;

Tiffany & Alicia Fox
Alicia has had some matches and has been feuding with Katie. But recently, there's nothing been done. Hey, let's revisit it! Tiffany just sniffs around..why not have Nattie slap Tiffany around?! Perfect those four can feud...just think of it.. women matches ACTUALLY on ECW!

Smackdown Heels;

Maryse
I do think how Maryse is being portrayed has helped her to succeed in WWE thus far. So I can't really say what to improve. I guess she should have her return match with the former champion, McCool, and somewhat bury the ill feelings. Hey, I'm not saying being friends..no just be like what they were in the match. There for the common goal ...THE WIN!

Michelle McCool
Michelle McCool doesn't need to be chummy with ANYONE. She needs to be this big shot psycho lady. Michy needs to maintain her dominance without overshadowing Maryse. So, she needs more people to slap around!

Smackdown Tweener

Nikki Bella
Nikki needs a new look. Something to majorly different from Brie. She's the bitchy twin. So we need more chances to see how evil she is. And plus, work on our skills!

Smackdown Faces;

Brie Bella
The Twin that's better at wrestling. She's sweet and nice. Okay, this will work for a bit. But like I said with Nikki, we need to differentiate these twins from each other... The BELLA TWINS can't be the same person. They are different.. So let's see some serious differences.

Maria Kanellis
MARIA! She needs to go back to training. She's the weakest link in all the divas. She needs to play by her strengths. Maria played the ditz so well. I know you can't keep a gimmick forever nowadays. But she needs to stop doing things she can't possibly be. She's popular but she can't wrestle :|. Train harder! I say, WWE take her out for a few months maybe at the hands of Michelle McCool. TRAIN HER HARD. So maybe she will actually wrestle well..if not.. lord knows, maybe a dumpster will have her name on it.

Eve Torres
Eve has improved and gone from an interviewer to a wrestler. The way WWE trained her was the best out of most of the diva searchers. They didn't shove her in a match, but rather trained her thoroughly. I believe that approach was the best thing they could have done. She just needs to continue to do her thing and hope for the best.

Others;

Stephanie McMahon!
She needs to come back and try to physically harm Orton. She can't be a damsel in distress. Steph's a McMahon DAMMIT!

Vickie Guerrero
Oh Vickie's a character alright. How can you improve her? Make her more annoying. I don't know how..but do it. She's ace at irking people to death!

Well, that's the WWE land of Ladies.... This week, we will discuss the TNA Knockouts and the news of the week along with the results. I should have it up by Saturday or Sunday. So remember to check in to see everyone's favorite blog.

And remember, you can look BUT NEVER EVER touch the ROYALS!

HOLLERINGGG!!

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine
aka Marcella
Silence SWINES!
We want domination We want your submission We see your never resisting To this temptation We got one confession A love deprivation We got a jet black heart Its all fucked up cos we are...

To Whom It May Concern,

I have decided to take time away from my VERY BUSY schedule of homework and observation work to GIVE YOU ALL MY FIFTH Edition of The Confessions of A Royal Biatch.

Now before, I get to all these diva shenanigans, I have to YELL at the copycats. Please refrain from trying to be the Confessions of A Royal Biatch. You aren't going to get RAVE reviews like I do. So STOP trying. Be yourselves even though, that's SO HORRIBLE! Furthermore,please REFRAIN from making UP silly news. We don't care that you make up your OWN gossip. It's rather pathetic. You don't have the inside scoop. We here don't claim to know the inside scoop on ANYTHING. The only thing we have the inside scoop on is EVERYTHING THAT DEALS with The Royals! Hollerrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

Moving on to scary things, Ashley Massaro is STILL.... STILL..... STILLLL trying to play wrestler! Listen, Ashley, why don't you stick the pages of PLAYBOY with your silicone boobulas and YOUR over botoxed DOGGY face!! [ AND No I didn't take that from the Beautiful People =P ] One day she wants to spew about ex boyfriends, then bitch out a thirteen year old [ who I must say is a CUNT { oopsy} ], and then wants to be in UFC. On top of everything, she still wants in WWE. Ashley MAKE up your dirty MIND! You said you were in NINETY things already. Hey Massaro, where's the CD and clothing line? Nice aspirations. Um, are you gonna do ANYTHING? :| You have to be silly trying to reason with this sad 13 year old. And now this 13 year old is all psycho and wants to fight everybody! Listen Chatterbox, please refrain from being SCARED SHITLESS in your videos. You want to be a WWE Diva. Hey, princess join the club. You got millions of girls who want to be a WWE Diva. Not many make it. So do you have the BALLS to make it? Until you do or anyone else [ myself included], then threats aren't needed. Everyone needs to PROVE themselves to get there and STAY there. This isn't wrestling dress up!

But WHATEVER!!!

Let's get on with the SHOW!

Did anyone see Against All Odds? I saw pieces of it. I'm not too enthused with TNA PPVs. But ODB vs Awesome Kong was good. These girls can wrestle. I love how the Kongtourage wants to murder Cornette. Ol' Cornbread was gonna get monsterslapped by Kong. Haha. Kong wins. Now, I love Kong, but when is SHE gonna lose that belt? She's always champion. And if she's not champ, it's an idiothole!

Well, we had a Gauntlet match on iMPACT with Sojo Bolt winning.Oh NO, trouble in Kongtourage land. Let's see how Saeed and Khan feel about the new member Sojo getting a shot at their leader Kong. Now Cute Kip catching Angelina and Velvet was simply PRICELESS like Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes. Who the hell is Madison Rayne? And what has SHE done? -.- Hey Maddy Waddy, I hope the Beautiful People rearrange your little face! :P

Off of the TNA losers, and now to WWE Losers.

RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW IS ROSAAAAAAA MENDES!!!!!!!!!

Haha. Rosa was instrumental in another victory for the Glamazon! Yes, Jillian and Beth won another match against Kelly and Melina. Really Riveting!The Glamabutch has a title match against Melina THIS MONDAY! There have been reports that Trish Stratus is to appear and smack Beth. Or something along those lines. YADDA YADDA!

Did I ever say how much I miss Lena Yada? Well, I do.

ECW land had a treat of seeing Natalya Neidhart with her boytoy Tyson. I hope Nattie rips those FUGLY pink strands out of her head. It's ridiculous! Nattie, baby, you should know NOT to do what Victoria once did. MESS UP YOUR HAIR! I hope Nattie makes a permanent move to ECW. She needs to do something! She does NOTHING on Smackdown!

On Smackdown, Nikki had heelish tendencies. She so wanted to TOUCH John Morrison and the Miz. I think we will see the Bella Twins slap each other around. And wow, Maria actually didn't hurt herself or Michelle. I loved how Eve injected herself. She's doing a great job thus far. Michelle. LMFAO. Oh Michy! Maria picks up the win, and I didn't cringe SOOOO much. Umm, when is Maryse coming to smack Maria and Michelle into one another?

Better yet, GAIL KIM, when are you returning? I don't like games, hun.

Oh, I still wub John Cena. And yes, that has nothing to do with anything. :)

Draft is scheduled in April. Hopefully, the divas are moved around! They need it!

No divas tonight at No Way Out. BIG MISTAKE! They are taking part in a blog. WOOOO HOO!

Puh-lease!

Umm, let's do a quick rundown of what diva is where and what alignment she is.

Raw:

Heels: Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes, Jillian Hall, Layla London

Faces; Melina Perez, Candice Michelle, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly

ECW

Heels; Katie Lea & Natalya Neidhart

Faces; Tiffany & Alicia Fox

Smackdown;

Heels; Maryse & Michelle McCool

Tweener; Nikki Bella

Faces; Brie Bella, Maria Kanellis, Eve Torres

Well, Guess WHAT!

Next Confessions, I'm going to take all these DIVAS and TELL you ALL what I think they should do.

So until next time, don't touch the Royals. Don't try to be the Royals. Just STAY AWAY from us!

HOLLERINGGG!!

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine
aka Marcella
Don't you DARE enter the Lair of the PHOENIX!
We are in the middle of it..everything we ever wanted...we are in middle of it NOW!! Because well, we are....

To Whom it May Concern,

Welcome Again to The Confessions of A Royal Biatch!

You all are graced with another edition [ well half an edition ]. Seems as though, I had to prematurely end my previous Confessions to do some work, housework, and eat. Now, there are some MORE things that grind my gears!

And all you people are going to find out firsthand what those things are!

FCW's site has had a makeover! Well, not really, the superstar page has been updated. Now there's some yummy people brooding down there, like Brett DiBiase! [lots of wubs] Okay, okay, I'm gonna talk divas. [ rolls eyes] Well, Jenny Cash, Wesley Holiday, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Miss Angela, & Tiffany have been heating up the developmentals. I actually pretty proud of all these ladies. They are slowly improving. They even are crowning the Queen of FCW, which they totally ripped off from the Royals' e-fed. But, good for yous! You are all improving and TRYING.

But, Ashley! ASHLEY! ASHLEY!! Even though, I feel for you. Please.Do.NOT.COME.BACK! It's time to move on. As Marc said, other people need the shot. Everyone on the roster needs to have a fair share, and you have had your time. It's time to move on. Hey, if Victoria and the rest of the divas of the past can move on, so can you!

Recently, John Cena has stated that Candice Michelle has always been his favorite diva.Everyone please get over it. He can like who he wants. He's not being fickle or that she has silicone boobulas. Almost every diva and knockout has or had silicone boobulas. Just get over yourselves! At least, Cena is a nice man who mentions the diva. A lot of male wrestlers don't consider the ladies ANY talent. So shove that down your skirts! So everyone and their mother, please refrain from crying over every little thing Cena says or does. I really hate to have Randy Orton and his voices punt yous!

And plus, Cena couldn't mention me as his fave diva, cos everyone on the main roster would be sad that a future WWE Diva was mentioned instead of them. ;)

So this is the REAL end of the Confessions this week. Remember I may be imitated, but never duplicated. I'm the ONLY real Confessions out there, giving you a PIECE of my brilliant wrestling mind each and every week.

And remember, you can look, but never ever touch a Royal! Just simply remember, never to cross a Royal unless, you want to be hit by the dreaded Valentine' Massacre!!

HOLLLERINGGGGG!!

Sincerely Yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine
The REAL Phoenix rising from the ashes!
The Most Dominant and Smartest Diva and Knockout ever!
[ AKA Marcella ]

The BEST DAMN THING THAT YOUR EYES HAVE EVER SEEN!!!
Holler!!

To Whom It May Concern,

I don't know if it's just me, but really, why is there soo MANY ugly people in this world?! Like Velvet Sky says, we need to poke our eyeballs out!

But that's a discussion for another day!Unlike, last week, I'm not calling out whole companies telling them they suck like prostitutes. No, I'm in a better mood, thanks in part to Chinese New Year and the Royal Rumble. YAYA!Last night, I went to see Chinese New Year Dance/Singing Show at Radio City Music Hall. And let me tell you all, they had a dance just for me. The Dance of the Phoenix. That's right they had a dance just for this Italian Biatch. Anyways, these dancers were such wubbers, they were flipping, tumbling, and fighting with swords. They were true entertainers. I can even go as far as to think they would make great wrestlers. They took the fight to each other.

However, this Friday on Smackdown, Maria "took the fight" to Michelle McCool. Okay really? That wasn't cute. Now I'm not gonna join the trend of bashing Maria just for her horrible attempt at "retribution". That SCARY fish never COULD wrestle. She's always horrible. It's rather scary, how she STILL isn't good. I think WWE needs an interviewer and look at this, Maria needs a job she's good at. Perfect Match. Go interview. :)

Now,The Royals want to send our sympathies to Maria Kanellis. We feel RATHER horrible and terrible for her. She's really bad. Maria is what Jillian calls " TALENTLESS BITTCHES". We, Royals, have never had the chance to know how it feels to be talentless or to be a hooker. So we hope to never catch that disease. Marc, is that contagious like HEADLICE? Eww..

Well, whatever. On to more news, Kelly Kelly's sexual harassment. That's just bullshit. You have to be downright stupid to think that they are depushing her for not being in Playboy. Everyone has to lose a match, sometime. Raw is Melina and Beth central right now. Okay. And plus, if Mickie and Candice weren't stuck in the backstage, then one of them would have to lose.

Urgh. So there's rumors that Natalya is going to Raw and Kelly Kelly to Smackdown. Okay, SERIOUSLY? How gay would that be! They just had Kelly Kelly switch over from ECW because she didn't know what a contract was. o.O Keep her on Raw. Send Candice Michelle or Mickie James to Smackdown. They need something new for them. And by the way, send them to Smackdown as a HEEL. In my perfect opinion, send the Candilicious Go Daddy Queen, Candice Michelle to Smackdown heel. No doubt whatsoever, Gail Kim will come back soon and she will be face. So this would totally help out the heel department of Smackdown. But whatever!

Now to things that make us Royals so very Royalish! The Beautiful People attacking "Sarah Palin". Now Marc, do I get a Beauty? WOOOOO BEAUTY!! Excellent! Wonderful! A+! Oh everyone should look at them and STUDY them. STUDY THEM!!

Now onto Katie Lea Burchill as she is my favorite English..Scratch that. Second favorite. Marc is my favorite!! Her acting this past ECW was great. She should teach that Boogeysnot a lesson in classy wrestling!

Blah blah is all I have to say about Beth/Melina central. I can't wait for their match tonight at Royal Rumble. I want Melina as champ. BUT, I don't think tonight is her night. I want Rosa Mendes to interfere in the match and make Beth get DQ'ed. Eventually, I think the best way to get this whole storyline through is to have Beth become face. She's bound to get angry at Santino and Rosa. They are soo plotting against her. I say, have Melina be conspiring with them. Turn Melina back heel! And there you go. Mel doesn't have a gimmick as a face. She's better as a heel. Honestly, feathers don't equal a gimmick.

WHATEVER. It's now time to leave you all. Yes I know. It's sad since I didn't call anyone out this week. Wait, maybe, I should do something different this week. That's right, baby. A GROUP HUG!

This week, a big royal group hug goes to KONGTOURAGE! Raisha Saeed, Sojo Bolt, Rhaka Khan, and Awesome Kong are the wubbiest. Yes they are better than most of you. Just embrace it! ;)

HOLLERING!

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine, The One and Only Italian Biatch
(aka Marcella)
Yeah I'm too cool To know you Don't take it personal Don't get emotional

If you like fanfiction, witchcraft, wizadry, Draco Malfoy and a whole lot of YAYA, then click either picture above to read Marcella's new Hogwarts inspired fanfiction entitled "Killer Valentine's". If you don't read it we shall cast a spell on you so you botch everything like Maria. :D

Myself and Marcella have been plotting for some time now to present the viewers of the site with End Of Year Awards! So, click the link below [ or the link in the navigation bar ] to be redirected to our awards page! The awards include 'Best PPV Match', 'Most Overrated Woman', 'Who Are You?', 'Jillian's Best Musical Performance' and more! So what are you dodo brains waiting for?! Get READING! :))

NARCUSGFX;;
END OF YEAR AWARDS

Marc's graphic card on his computer decided to break! He cannot get on! GRR!! Furthermore, my grandfather went back into the hospital. And plus, I have my own health issues. So we will be back up soon! Stay tuned for own magical posts!!! Or we will need those MIGHTY bricks to punch people with!


Marc; HOLLER!

Marci; Hollering!!