NARCUSGFX

Dear Whom it May Concern,

What a Royally busy weekend I had. I had homework up the creek and a teaching exam. So, last week's Confessions had to go byebye. But of course, it wasn't a permanent byebye. I will NEVER quit the Confessions of A Royal Biatch! But, forgive me for any time I am late. I do have things I have to do...and people to talk to.

Anyways, let's get down to business! REALLY, Ashley Massaro is STILLLLLLL blogging her hearts out. Please refrain from typing Ashley! It hurts the Royals' eyes. We have LOST all respect for you. ^_^ And we have NO respect for anyone who will continue to irk the Dirty Diva. If you really want a hobby, then go read a book about aliens or build a damn. DO SOMETHING USEFUL THEN CONTRIBUTE TO ASHLEY!

The Vicious Vixxen Victoria is practicing MMA. Well, I think she will do well at that. She will fuck someone up well. ^_^ Good luck tater!! ;]]

Amy "Lita" Dumas says she will come back just to ruin someone's day. Well, Lita, we have a list of people whom day's need to be ruined. I think it's high time that you RUIN them ... just about.... NOW!!

Madison Rayne is supposed to be the "NEW" Beautiful People member. She's not beautiful. She looks like a horse's ass! Hopefully, she's just an associate. Or someone will have to help my sad eyeballs.

Amy Weber's preggers! Congrats go out for her!

Hmm...Raw's diva match last week was rather interesting. It wasn't a great week for women's wrestling. Mel retained the title against Beth Phoenix. That my friends is good. Melina deserves that title for at least after Wrestlemania. I just hope that Beth doesn't get it again. I believe other people on the roster deserve a chance...like JILLIAN. But the faces came out to save the day. Good use of those faces. Rosa Mendes looked a bit awkward..but what can you expect.

ECW was boring again. Katie Lea was managing her brother against the Boogeyman. I love Katie Lea's acting. But, um, can she do more? The same goes out for Natalya. Let's do something with the divas on ECW!


TNA was decent with the interview of Sojourner Bolt. She's arrogant and ghetto. She told Raisha Saeed that ONLY HER MOMMA tells her what to do, and she ain't her momma. Well, I hope Saeed has some Syrian Sand ready to fix that BIG PROBLEM! So the Beautiful People lost to Roxxi and Taylor. Yeah in the big scheme of things, it's a good idea. BUTTTTT!!! I dislike those two idiotboxes. Roxxi irks me to no end. ^_^ WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO TO HERSELF? Taylor is a whiny lady. The Governor makes the team! UM, can she have another name? kthxbye.

Smackdown is ROYAL! The Bella Twins with Morrison and Miz doesn't make me go YAYA. Then again them with the Colons' doesn't either. How about let's STOP! It looks like Nikki will be going with MOMO and Miz and turning heel. And Brie with the Colons' and staying face. Problem is, no one will know who is who, unless someone makes a drastic change. And Brie is the stronger wrestler than Nikki. Oh boy! Moving on to Eve & Maria vs Maryse & Michelle McCool. I'm very proud of Eve. She's coming along very well. Maria was okay... she's NOT getting better, but at least she didn't mess up big time. Maryse's return to the ring was the best. I love how Michy and Mary weren't friendly, but yet worked together. Good, I wonder when Michy is gonna get her rematch.

So Gail's return promo was leaked by WWE. OOPSY! It sucked major eggs! I'm sorry. It was beyond horrible. I think I need to make a call to Serpentina Venomina Saltan aka Serpie!!

Lacey Von Erich is supposed to be on Playboy. o.O Run and hide everyone. She's a "SCRAY" lady. I know that's old news, but it's FRIGHTENING!

By the way, everyone look at for Jenny Cash. She's going to be a good one in time. CHA-CHING!

Well, last Confessions, I said I will discuss the state of the divas. And that's just what I will do! But before that I will warn you all, these are MY OPINIONS. My opinion is mine. Everyone's opinion is valid. Just mine are a bit ROYAL ;]!

Well, let's get this party started!

Raw Heels:

Beth Phoenix
Miss Beth Phoenix has been rather entertaining with Santino Marella. He seems to be her saving grace. We have finally found out that she can be funny and entertaining. However, I hate to say this, Santino is taking too much away from Beth. She needs to go back to being the dominant biatch. I think she needs a change. Santino should turn on the Glamazon and she turns face. Santino should be having an affair with ROSA MENDES! And plus, Beth should be out of the main stage of the women's division. Everything revolves around Beth and Melina. What about the other divas?!

Rosa Mendes
Rosa needs to have an aim with her being the number one fan of Beth. She needs to have a devious reason. Like I said, she needs to be trying to seduce Santino. Why? That's a huge boost for her career. She would be a legit heel. Right now, she's just a weirdo.

Jillian Hall
PUSH HER! Give her a title shot and program. If you are keeping Melina face, then have her fight Jillian. They have great matches... they are friends. JUST DO IT!

Layla London
Layla needs to stop managing. She should be involved with the divas. Sure, she can manage Regal on the side. But, she's wasting away by not having so much contact with the ladies. Think of this, new matches..new rivalries... =O!

Raw Faces;

Melina Perez
Melina is a scary face. She has this weird smile. Okay, I think she should turn back heel. But, that won't seem to happen for another several months. SO, we will just have to adjust and hope for the best. I say, just let her be a bit bitchy, so she can be normal.. hey try what Trish did. She could be full of herself even though she was face. And well, you can always have her be the mastermind of letting Rosa Mendes stalk the Glamzon and Santino. But that's pushing it, I know..

Candice Michelle
Candice needs something new. She needs to be moved to Smackdown and turned heel. She has nothing to do on Raw anymore. They aren't using her properly... so either use her or move her! And well, she needs something to spice up her character...anything!

Mickie James
Mickie is going through the same problems as Candice Michelle. She needs something to get her back on track. She's the most popular diva, and yet she's underused. She needs to shine someone up. You can have her associate with CM Punk as Layla manages Regal. And she can start a program with Layla. They had a match a while ago. HEY! Let's do something with this!They both would do well in something like this!

Kelly Kelly
Just keep doing what you are doing with her! She's improving and getting exposure. So there's nothing really more to say.

ECW Heels;

Katie Lea & Natalya Neidhart
Oh yes, Katie and Natalya are going to have the same exact thing said. Why don't we actually have them wrestle? That's why they are on ECW for some tv time! Let's have them wrestle and manage their wonderful people. They have Tiffany and Alicia to feud with...so Let's get to getting Tiffany and Alicia ready for the big time!

ECW; Faces;

Tiffany & Alicia Fox
Alicia has had some matches and has been feuding with Katie. But recently, there's nothing been done. Hey, let's revisit it! Tiffany just sniffs around..why not have Nattie slap Tiffany around?! Perfect those four can feud...just think of it.. women matches ACTUALLY on ECW!

Smackdown Heels;

Maryse
I do think how Maryse is being portrayed has helped her to succeed in WWE thus far. So I can't really say what to improve. I guess she should have her return match with the former champion, McCool, and somewhat bury the ill feelings. Hey, I'm not saying being friends..no just be like what they were in the match. There for the common goal ...THE WIN!

Michelle McCool
Michelle McCool doesn't need to be chummy with ANYONE. She needs to be this big shot psycho lady. Michy needs to maintain her dominance without overshadowing Maryse. So, she needs more people to slap around!

Smackdown Tweener

Nikki Bella
Nikki needs a new look. Something to majorly different from Brie. She's the bitchy twin. So we need more chances to see how evil she is. And plus, work on our skills!

Smackdown Faces;

Brie Bella
The Twin that's better at wrestling. She's sweet and nice. Okay, this will work for a bit. But like I said with Nikki, we need to differentiate these twins from each other... The BELLA TWINS can't be the same person. They are different.. So let's see some serious differences.

Maria Kanellis
MARIA! She needs to go back to training. She's the weakest link in all the divas. She needs to play by her strengths. Maria played the ditz so well. I know you can't keep a gimmick forever nowadays. But she needs to stop doing things she can't possibly be. She's popular but she can't wrestle :|. Train harder! I say, WWE take her out for a few months maybe at the hands of Michelle McCool. TRAIN HER HARD. So maybe she will actually wrestle well..if not.. lord knows, maybe a dumpster will have her name on it.

Eve Torres
Eve has improved and gone from an interviewer to a wrestler. The way WWE trained her was the best out of most of the diva searchers. They didn't shove her in a match, but rather trained her thoroughly. I believe that approach was the best thing they could have done. She just needs to continue to do her thing and hope for the best.

Others;

Stephanie McMahon!
She needs to come back and try to physically harm Orton. She can't be a damsel in distress. Steph's a McMahon DAMMIT!

Vickie Guerrero
Oh Vickie's a character alright. How can you improve her? Make her more annoying. I don't know how..but do it. She's ace at irking people to death!

Well, that's the WWE land of Ladies.... This week, we will discuss the TNA Knockouts and the news of the week along with the results. I should have it up by Saturday or Sunday. So remember to check in to see everyone's favorite blog.

And remember, you can look BUT NEVER EVER touch the ROYALS!

HOLLERINGGG!!

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine
aka Marcella
Silence SWINES!
We want domination We want your submission We see your never resisting To this temptation We got one confession A love deprivation We got a jet black heart Its all fucked up cos we are...

To Whom it May Concern,

Welcome Again to The Confessions of A Royal Biatch!

You all are graced with another edition [ well half an edition ]. Seems as though, I had to prematurely end my previous Confessions to do some work, housework, and eat. Now, there are some MORE things that grind my gears!

And all you people are going to find out firsthand what those things are!

FCW's site has had a makeover! Well, not really, the superstar page has been updated. Now there's some yummy people brooding down there, like Brett DiBiase! [lots of wubs] Okay, okay, I'm gonna talk divas. [ rolls eyes] Well, Jenny Cash, Wesley Holiday, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Miss Angela, & Tiffany have been heating up the developmentals. I actually pretty proud of all these ladies. They are slowly improving. They even are crowning the Queen of FCW, which they totally ripped off from the Royals' e-fed. But, good for yous! You are all improving and TRYING.

But, Ashley! ASHLEY! ASHLEY!! Even though, I feel for you. Please.Do.NOT.COME.BACK! It's time to move on. As Marc said, other people need the shot. Everyone on the roster needs to have a fair share, and you have had your time. It's time to move on. Hey, if Victoria and the rest of the divas of the past can move on, so can you!

Recently, John Cena has stated that Candice Michelle has always been his favorite diva.Everyone please get over it. He can like who he wants. He's not being fickle or that she has silicone boobulas. Almost every diva and knockout has or had silicone boobulas. Just get over yourselves! At least, Cena is a nice man who mentions the diva. A lot of male wrestlers don't consider the ladies ANY talent. So shove that down your skirts! So everyone and their mother, please refrain from crying over every little thing Cena says or does. I really hate to have Randy Orton and his voices punt yous!

And plus, Cena couldn't mention me as his fave diva, cos everyone on the main roster would be sad that a future WWE Diva was mentioned instead of them. ;)

So this is the REAL end of the Confessions this week. Remember I may be imitated, but never duplicated. I'm the ONLY real Confessions out there, giving you a PIECE of my brilliant wrestling mind each and every week.

And remember, you can look, but never ever touch a Royal! Just simply remember, never to cross a Royal unless, you want to be hit by the dreaded Valentine' Massacre!!

HOLLLERINGGGGG!!

Sincerely Yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine
The REAL Phoenix rising from the ashes!
The Most Dominant and Smartest Diva and Knockout ever!
[ AKA Marcella ]

The BEST DAMN THING THAT YOUR EYES HAVE EVER SEEN!!!
Holler!!

To Whom It May Concern,

I don't know if it's just me, but really, why is there soo MANY ugly people in this world?! Like Velvet Sky says, we need to poke our eyeballs out!

But that's a discussion for another day!Unlike, last week, I'm not calling out whole companies telling them they suck like prostitutes. No, I'm in a better mood, thanks in part to Chinese New Year and the Royal Rumble. YAYA!Last night, I went to see Chinese New Year Dance/Singing Show at Radio City Music Hall. And let me tell you all, they had a dance just for me. The Dance of the Phoenix. That's right they had a dance just for this Italian Biatch. Anyways, these dancers were such wubbers, they were flipping, tumbling, and fighting with swords. They were true entertainers. I can even go as far as to think they would make great wrestlers. They took the fight to each other.

However, this Friday on Smackdown, Maria "took the fight" to Michelle McCool. Okay really? That wasn't cute. Now I'm not gonna join the trend of bashing Maria just for her horrible attempt at "retribution". That SCARY fish never COULD wrestle. She's always horrible. It's rather scary, how she STILL isn't good. I think WWE needs an interviewer and look at this, Maria needs a job she's good at. Perfect Match. Go interview. :)

Now,The Royals want to send our sympathies to Maria Kanellis. We feel RATHER horrible and terrible for her. She's really bad. Maria is what Jillian calls " TALENTLESS BITTCHES". We, Royals, have never had the chance to know how it feels to be talentless or to be a hooker. So we hope to never catch that disease. Marc, is that contagious like HEADLICE? Eww..

Well, whatever. On to more news, Kelly Kelly's sexual harassment. That's just bullshit. You have to be downright stupid to think that they are depushing her for not being in Playboy. Everyone has to lose a match, sometime. Raw is Melina and Beth central right now. Okay. And plus, if Mickie and Candice weren't stuck in the backstage, then one of them would have to lose.

Urgh. So there's rumors that Natalya is going to Raw and Kelly Kelly to Smackdown. Okay, SERIOUSLY? How gay would that be! They just had Kelly Kelly switch over from ECW because she didn't know what a contract was. o.O Keep her on Raw. Send Candice Michelle or Mickie James to Smackdown. They need something new for them. And by the way, send them to Smackdown as a HEEL. In my perfect opinion, send the Candilicious Go Daddy Queen, Candice Michelle to Smackdown heel. No doubt whatsoever, Gail Kim will come back soon and she will be face. So this would totally help out the heel department of Smackdown. But whatever!

Now to things that make us Royals so very Royalish! The Beautiful People attacking "Sarah Palin". Now Marc, do I get a Beauty? WOOOOO BEAUTY!! Excellent! Wonderful! A+! Oh everyone should look at them and STUDY them. STUDY THEM!!

Now onto Katie Lea Burchill as she is my favorite English..Scratch that. Second favorite. Marc is my favorite!! Her acting this past ECW was great. She should teach that Boogeysnot a lesson in classy wrestling!

Blah blah is all I have to say about Beth/Melina central. I can't wait for their match tonight at Royal Rumble. I want Melina as champ. BUT, I don't think tonight is her night. I want Rosa Mendes to interfere in the match and make Beth get DQ'ed. Eventually, I think the best way to get this whole storyline through is to have Beth become face. She's bound to get angry at Santino and Rosa. They are soo plotting against her. I say, have Melina be conspiring with them. Turn Melina back heel! And there you go. Mel doesn't have a gimmick as a face. She's better as a heel. Honestly, feathers don't equal a gimmick.

WHATEVER. It's now time to leave you all. Yes I know. It's sad since I didn't call anyone out this week. Wait, maybe, I should do something different this week. That's right, baby. A GROUP HUG!

This week, a big royal group hug goes to KONGTOURAGE! Raisha Saeed, Sojo Bolt, Rhaka Khan, and Awesome Kong are the wubbiest. Yes they are better than most of you. Just embrace it! ;)

HOLLERING!

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine, The One and Only Italian Biatch
(aka Marcella)
Yeah I'm too cool To know you Don't take it personal Don't get emotional

I got bored so I decided to make a few CAWs. I don't bother much with their faces, I only adjust little bits as I can't be bothered editing EVERYTHING so here is The Royals [myself and Marcella], Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Brie Bella and Nikki Bella. Yes, there's a difference between the Bella CAWs; Nikki has the flower and armband on the opposite sides to Brie, and she has a much larger jaw. Anyways, take a look below at these wuby things. ;]

New England Championship Wrestling and World Women’s Wrestling star, Lexxus will be undergoing a name change next weekend at the NECW and WWW events at the National Guard Armory in Quincy, MA.

Last Thursday, NECW promoter, Sheldon Goldberg received a letter from a Washington D.C. law firm representing Toyota Motor Corporation claiming that the name “Lexxus” was “an unauthorized commercial use” of that name, claiming it is a misuse of their Lexus automobile trademark.

The letter requested than NECW, World Women’s Wrestling and the wrestler known as Lexxus cease and desist using that ring name. The firm cited Lexxus’ one time appearance in Total Nonstop Action Wrestling using the name “Mercedes Steele” as proof of “the wrestler’s intention to associate herself with well-known automobile brands.”

NECW co-owner and promoter, Sheldon Goldberg took the matter under advisement with the wrestler known as Lexxus and the company’s attorney. NECW sent a response to Toyota’s law firm today.

Goldberg said, “To sum up our response, our counsel agrees with us that the wrestler named Lexxus is well within her rights to use that name. We do not believe that any reasonable person would confuse the wrestler known as Lexxus with an automobile. However, as a practical matter, there would be nothing to gain from a legal battle, which could only be waged at significant cost to us. For that reason, we have informed Toyota that we intend to comply with their request, and the wrestler known as Lexxus will undergo a name change on the event scheduled for Saturday, November 29 in Quincy, MA. Her new name will be revealed at that time.”

Goldberg also said, “This is actually a compliment to our company and to the wrestler known as Lexxus. If our promotion of Lexxus and her exemplary performance were not significant, it would never have attracted the attention of a global conglomerate like Toyota. While we absolutely disagree with Toyota’s claims, we do respect their efforts to protect what they perceive to be their intellectual property. We have asked Toyota to consider working with our company in the future.”

Yup, that's right! Former Mercedes Steele is in TROUBLE! She must change her scrabby name of Lexxus. But really, Goldberg, don't think she's all that. She DID have several DEAD animals on her head when she debuted on TNA iMPACT! And still no one really knows of her, just a few people who haven't forgotten her scary face, since she gave them NIGHTMARES!

Anyways, this update would have been up earlier, but I felt the need to thump people using my CAW, Mercedes Phoenix Valentine on Smackdown vs Raw 2009