Dear Whom it May Concern,
What a Royally busy weekend I had. I had homework up the creek and a teaching exam. So, last week's Confessions had to go byebye. But of course, it wasn't a permanent byebye. I will NEVER quit the Confessions of A Royal Biatch! But, forgive me for any time I am late. I do have things I have to do...and people to talk to.
Anyways, let's get down to business! REALLY, Ashley Massaro is STILLLLLLL blogging her hearts out. Please refrain from typing Ashley! It hurts the Royals' eyes. We have LOST all respect for you. ^_^ And we have NO respect for anyone who will continue to irk the Dirty Diva. If you really want a hobby, then go read a book about aliens or build a damn. DO SOMETHING USEFUL THEN CONTRIBUTE TO ASHLEY!
The Vicious Vixxen Victoria is practicing MMA. Well, I think she will do well at that. She will fuck someone up well. ^_^ Good luck tater!! ;]]
Amy "Lita" Dumas says she will come back just to ruin someone's day. Well, Lita, we have a list of people whom day's need to be ruined. I think it's high time that you RUIN them ... just about.... NOW!!
Madison Rayne is supposed to be the "NEW" Beautiful People member. She's not beautiful. She looks like a horse's ass! Hopefully, she's just an associate. Or someone will have to help my sad eyeballs.
Amy Weber's preggers! Congrats go out for her!
Hmm...Raw's diva match last week was rather interesting. It wasn't a great week for women's wrestling. Mel retained the title against Beth Phoenix. That my friends is good. Melina deserves that title for at least after Wrestlemania. I just hope that Beth doesn't get it again. I believe other people on the roster deserve a chance...like JILLIAN. But the faces came out to save the day. Good use of those faces. Rosa Mendes looked a bit awkward..but what can you expect.
ECW was boring again. Katie Lea was managing her brother against the Boogeyman. I love Katie Lea's acting. But, um, can she do more? The same goes out for Natalya. Let's do something with the divas on ECW!
TNA was decent with the interview of Sojourner Bolt. She's arrogant and ghetto. She told Raisha Saeed that ONLY HER MOMMA tells her what to do, and she ain't her momma. Well, I hope Saeed has some Syrian Sand ready to fix that BIG PROBLEM! So the Beautiful People lost to Roxxi and Taylor. Yeah in the big scheme of things, it's a good idea. BUTTTTT!!! I dislike those two idiotboxes. Roxxi irks me to no end. ^_^ WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO TO HERSELF? Taylor is a whiny lady. The Governor makes the team! UM, can she have another name? kthxbye.
Smackdown is ROYAL! The Bella Twins with Morrison and Miz doesn't make me go YAYA. Then again them with the Colons' doesn't either. How about let's STOP! It looks like Nikki will be going with MOMO and Miz and turning heel. And Brie with the Colons' and staying face. Problem is, no one will know who is who, unless someone makes a drastic change. And Brie is the stronger wrestler than Nikki. Oh boy! Moving on to Eve & Maria vs Maryse & Michelle McCool. I'm very proud of Eve. She's coming along very well. Maria was okay... she's NOT getting better, but at least she didn't mess up big time. Maryse's return to the ring was the best. I love how Michy and Mary weren't friendly, but yet worked together. Good, I wonder when Michy is gonna get her rematch.
So Gail's return promo was leaked by WWE. OOPSY! It sucked major eggs! I'm sorry. It was beyond horrible. I think I need to make a call to Serpentina Venomina Saltan aka Serpie!!
Lacey Von Erich is supposed to be on Playboy. o.O Run and hide everyone. She's a "SCRAY" lady. I know that's old news, but it's FRIGHTENING!
By the way, everyone look at for Jenny Cash. She's going to be a good one in time. CHA-CHING!
Well, last Confessions, I said I will discuss the state of the divas. And that's just what I will do! But before that I will warn you all, these are MY OPINIONS. My opinion is mine. Everyone's opinion is valid. Just mine are a bit ROYAL ;]!
Well, let's get this party started!
Raw Heels:
Beth Phoenix
Miss Beth Phoenix has been rather entertaining with Santino Marella. He seems to be her saving grace. We have finally found out that she can be funny and entertaining. However, I hate to say this, Santino is taking too much away from Beth. She needs to go back to being the dominant biatch. I think she needs a change. Santino should turn on the Glamazon and she turns face. Santino should be having an affair with ROSA MENDES! And plus, Beth should be out of the main stage of the women's division. Everything revolves around Beth and Melina. What about the other divas?!
Rosa Mendes
Rosa needs to have an aim with her being the number one fan of Beth. She needs to have a devious reason. Like I said, she needs to be trying to seduce Santino. Why? That's a huge boost for her career. She would be a legit heel. Right now, she's just a weirdo.
Jillian Hall
PUSH HER! Give her a title shot and program. If you are keeping Melina face, then have her fight Jillian. They have great matches... they are friends. JUST DO IT!
Layla London
Layla needs to stop managing. She should be involved with the divas. Sure, she can manage Regal on the side. But, she's wasting away by not having so much contact with the ladies. Think of this, new matches..new rivalries... =O!
Raw Faces;
Melina Perez
Melina is a scary face. She has this weird smile. Okay, I think she should turn back heel. But, that won't seem to happen for another several months. SO, we will just have to adjust and hope for the best. I say, just let her be a bit bitchy, so she can be normal.. hey try what Trish did. She could be full of herself even though she was face. And well, you can always have her be the mastermind of letting Rosa Mendes stalk the Glamzon and Santino. But that's pushing it, I know..
Candice Michelle
Candice needs something new. She needs to be moved to Smackdown and turned heel. She has nothing to do on Raw anymore. They aren't using her properly... so either use her or move her! And well, she needs something to spice up her character...anything!
Mickie James
Mickie is going through the same problems as Candice Michelle. She needs something to get her back on track. She's the most popular diva, and yet she's underused. She needs to shine someone up. You can have her associate with CM Punk as Layla manages Regal. And she can start a program with Layla. They had a match a while ago. HEY! Let's do something with this!They both would do well in something like this!
Kelly Kelly
Just keep doing what you are doing with her! She's improving and getting exposure. So there's nothing really more to say.
ECW Heels;
Katie Lea & Natalya Neidhart
Oh yes, Katie and Natalya are going to have the same exact thing said. Why don't we actually have them wrestle? That's why they are on ECW for some tv time! Let's have them wrestle and manage their wonderful people. They have Tiffany and Alicia to feud with...so Let's get to getting Tiffany and Alicia ready for the big time!
ECW; Faces;
Tiffany & Alicia Fox
Alicia has had some matches and has been feuding with Katie. But recently, there's nothing been done. Hey, let's revisit it! Tiffany just sniffs around..why not have Nattie slap Tiffany around?! Perfect those four can feud...just think of it.. women matches ACTUALLY on ECW!
Smackdown Heels;
Maryse
I do think how Maryse is being portrayed has helped her to succeed in WWE thus far. So I can't really say what to improve. I guess she should have her return match with the former champion, McCool, and somewhat bury the ill feelings. Hey, I'm not saying being friends..no just be like what they were in the match. There for the common goal ...THE WIN!
Michelle McCool
Michelle McCool doesn't need to be chummy with ANYONE. She needs to be this big shot psycho lady. Michy needs to maintain her dominance without overshadowing Maryse. So, she needs more people to slap around!
Smackdown Tweener
Nikki Bella
Nikki needs a new look. Something to majorly different from Brie. She's the bitchy twin. So we need more chances to see how evil she is. And plus, work on our skills!
Smackdown Faces;
Brie Bella
The Twin that's better at wrestling. She's sweet and nice. Okay, this will work for a bit. But like I said with Nikki, we need to differentiate these twins from each other... The BELLA TWINS can't be the same person. They are different.. So let's see some serious differences.
Maria Kanellis
MARIA! She needs to go back to training. She's the weakest link in all the divas. She needs to play by her strengths. Maria played the ditz so well. I know you can't keep a gimmick forever nowadays. But she needs to stop doing things she can't possibly be. She's popular but she can't wrestle :|. Train harder! I say, WWE take her out for a few months maybe at the hands of Michelle McCool. TRAIN HER HARD. So maybe she will actually wrestle well..if not.. lord knows, maybe a dumpster will have her name on it.
Eve Torres
Eve has improved and gone from an interviewer to a wrestler. The way WWE trained her was the best out of most of the diva searchers. They didn't shove her in a match, but rather trained her thoroughly. I believe that approach was the best thing they could have done. She just needs to continue to do her thing and hope for the best.
Others;
Stephanie McMahon!
She needs to come back and try to physically harm Orton. She can't be a damsel in distress. Steph's a McMahon DAMMIT!
Vickie Guerrero
Oh Vickie's a character alright. How can you improve her? Make her more annoying. I don't know how..but do it. She's ace at irking people to death!
Well, that's the WWE land of Ladies.... This week, we will discuss the TNA Knockouts and the news of the week along with the results. I should have it up by Saturday or Sunday. So remember to check in to see everyone's favorite blog.
And remember, you can look BUT NEVER EVER touch the ROYALS!
HOLLERINGGG!!
Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine
aka Marcella
Silence SWINES!
We want domination We want your submission We see your never resisting To this temptation We got one confession A love deprivation We got a jet black heart Its all fucked up cos we are...
The Confessions of A Royal Biatch - #11 GIMME GIMME GIMME
Marci at 23:19
