NARCUSGFX

To Whom It May Concern,

I don't know if it's just me, but really, why is there soo MANY ugly people in this world?! Like Velvet Sky says, we need to poke our eyeballs out!

But that's a discussion for another day!Unlike, last week, I'm not calling out whole companies telling them they suck like prostitutes. No, I'm in a better mood, thanks in part to Chinese New Year and the Royal Rumble. YAYA!Last night, I went to see Chinese New Year Dance/Singing Show at Radio City Music Hall. And let me tell you all, they had a dance just for me. The Dance of the Phoenix. That's right they had a dance just for this Italian Biatch. Anyways, these dancers were such wubbers, they were flipping, tumbling, and fighting with swords. They were true entertainers. I can even go as far as to think they would make great wrestlers. They took the fight to each other.

However, this Friday on Smackdown, Maria "took the fight" to Michelle McCool. Okay really? That wasn't cute. Now I'm not gonna join the trend of bashing Maria just for her horrible attempt at "retribution". That SCARY fish never COULD wrestle. She's always horrible. It's rather scary, how she STILL isn't good. I think WWE needs an interviewer and look at this, Maria needs a job she's good at. Perfect Match. Go interview. :)

Now,The Royals want to send our sympathies to Maria Kanellis. We feel RATHER horrible and terrible for her. She's really bad. Maria is what Jillian calls " TALENTLESS BITTCHES". We, Royals, have never had the chance to know how it feels to be talentless or to be a hooker. So we hope to never catch that disease. Marc, is that contagious like HEADLICE? Eww..

Well, whatever. On to more news, Kelly Kelly's sexual harassment. That's just bullshit. You have to be downright stupid to think that they are depushing her for not being in Playboy. Everyone has to lose a match, sometime. Raw is Melina and Beth central right now. Okay. And plus, if Mickie and Candice weren't stuck in the backstage, then one of them would have to lose.

Urgh. So there's rumors that Natalya is going to Raw and Kelly Kelly to Smackdown. Okay, SERIOUSLY? How gay would that be! They just had Kelly Kelly switch over from ECW because she didn't know what a contract was. o.O Keep her on Raw. Send Candice Michelle or Mickie James to Smackdown. They need something new for them. And by the way, send them to Smackdown as a HEEL. In my perfect opinion, send the Candilicious Go Daddy Queen, Candice Michelle to Smackdown heel. No doubt whatsoever, Gail Kim will come back soon and she will be face. So this would totally help out the heel department of Smackdown. But whatever!

Now to things that make us Royals so very Royalish! The Beautiful People attacking "Sarah Palin". Now Marc, do I get a Beauty? WOOOOO BEAUTY!! Excellent! Wonderful! A+! Oh everyone should look at them and STUDY them. STUDY THEM!!

Now onto Katie Lea Burchill as she is my favorite English..Scratch that. Second favorite. Marc is my favorite!! Her acting this past ECW was great. She should teach that Boogeysnot a lesson in classy wrestling!

Blah blah is all I have to say about Beth/Melina central. I can't wait for their match tonight at Royal Rumble. I want Melina as champ. BUT, I don't think tonight is her night. I want Rosa Mendes to interfere in the match and make Beth get DQ'ed. Eventually, I think the best way to get this whole storyline through is to have Beth become face. She's bound to get angry at Santino and Rosa. They are soo plotting against her. I say, have Melina be conspiring with them. Turn Melina back heel! And there you go. Mel doesn't have a gimmick as a face. She's better as a heel. Honestly, feathers don't equal a gimmick.

WHATEVER. It's now time to leave you all. Yes I know. It's sad since I didn't call anyone out this week. Wait, maybe, I should do something different this week. That's right, baby. A GROUP HUG!

This week, a big royal group hug goes to KONGTOURAGE! Raisha Saeed, Sojo Bolt, Rhaka Khan, and Awesome Kong are the wubbiest. Yes they are better than most of you. Just embrace it! ;)

HOLLERING!

Sincerely yours,
Mercedes Phoenix Valentine, The One and Only Italian Biatch
(aka Marcella)
Yeah I'm too cool To know you Don't take it personal Don't get emotional